The Bag Sitch.

Before we jump in I just wanted to explain this post, back in May I broke my bag (the one in the back) and in typical Jess fashion I wrote out this post below on my Ipad with the intention of sharing it the next week. As you know that never happened, so I thought I would share it with you guys now, these are my thoughts on bags . . . 

The bag sitch.

Last night was one for the record books – for the first time ever I managed to successfully break a bag and this time without the help of the Victoria lines tube doors trying to trap both me and my left leg outside of its carriage.
Instead I was thankfully sitting down when my once cute, floral handle pulled away not from its stitching but tearing clean through the PU coating and reinforcement patch beneath. In terms of success this did successfully kill any chance of it being mended and allowed me to trial the not going to happen trend for oversized, satchel clutches. (Highly impractical) needless to say upon arriving home it was time to get to work. Find the replacement bag to take its place until I could raid Oliver Bonas the following day for its grey and gold hardweared replacement. I came up with three options overall,
A faux patent leather beach bag in blue which I bought on a flat hunting trip with bestie Becky back when funds were limited to £100 monthly instalments and my fashion taste, questionable. Cute yes but practical? All kinds of no. It’s almost too short sticky plastic handles had a painful habit of grabbing at hair and upon removal would yank precious strands from their routes, forcibly. Not to mention its patent coating would adhere itself to any uncovered skin, stick rub and need to be peeled for hot skin.
The next? Another accessorise success story, or maybe not. Navy faux leather lined with a sue d’être which had definitely seen better days, it’s lining laid, now puckered where it once laid flat and glued to allow for its faux leather appearance. It’s missing its internal pocket bag making it a sure thing for any pick pockets looking for easy practice and finally the bowling bag.
This survivor from pre university boasted a well done hide effect and stood out against its fellows by being a deep yellow neighbouring upon mustard. Clearly stamped with the three love hearts synonymous with marks and Spencer’s once hip alternative to its ailing sister brand “classic” it was the only good option of a pretty bad bunch.
Not to be truly scoffed at however it was made of sturdy stuff and clearly successful in lasting longer than the five seconds it’s cheaper cohorts had. So I took a deep breathe decanting all my stuff over and coming up with all the outdated jokes I could in order to save its feelings for the undoubted teasing that would come from the other more fashion forward bags in the office.
After all the best defence is a good offence right?
“No, I don’t belong to the Mary Kate and Ashley Walmart collection, 1999”
“Lizzy McGuires costume department called? No they didn’t. I would have remembered.”
“Want a plastic choker with that look?”
“Few. . .. Is that. Charlie’s body spray I smell? Impulse right?”
Needless to say I was armed with a few pretty, witty retorts and a whole bag full of the every girl essentials. Two year old cough sweets anyone? Oh no wait, that one actually. Has mould on it (could this be the problem? No didn’t think so)
Anyway it’s a throwback beaut and it’s not even Thursday. Not only that but there were some updates to its first outing in half a decade. See Jess 5+ years ago was being kind to me, see she must have known I’d need perking up in the face of having to fork out for a new bag I had had no intentions of buying until next month see she knew and sweetly left me a nice £10 in the side pocket, not only that but jackpot a ucas letter, to remind me that yes university was an awful long time ago and similarly you really should have worked harder, girl.
Heedless of that however once lunchtime hit my shopping fingers did and I was once again the proud owner of a bag I didn’t have to hide under a paper bag or make laughs at its expense but it’s also taught me a bigger lesson a girl should always invest in a classic black leather bag once leaving education don’t instead do a me and find yourself on an endless string on polyuthain bags that don’t stop breaking enough to allow you enough time to save for one!

2 thoughts on “The Bag Sitch.

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