Big Feet? Why you should buy your sandals now…

(Clarks Sandals Left+ Right+)

The sad fact of the matter is, if you are rocking size nine feet or larger, now is probably the first and last time you are going to be able to secure your summer sandals. Especially if you have a desire for flat, practical shoes.

In the autumn and winter you needn’t worry as quickly but in terms of the summer months? You have to make a plan and get your shoes tied down and fast.

If you think I’m joking I received my first pair in the mail last month (These cheap-ish flats from Clarks+ – I have sent these back, being as they are too flat for my feet) and after having decided they were not for me I found a further two pairs to send to my Mum and Nanna for inspection. My mum fell in love with the heavier soled pair pair whilst my nanna preferred the others and also informed me that she had bought hers two weeks prior!

See? It pays to get them in early, but why? because last year I didn’t get any, frankly because there were none! It seems that the unfortunate truth for any of us with difficult feet or bigger or smaller feet means far less choice, but seemingly no less demand. Therefore however much I wanted to wait them out for the next sale it just couldn’t be on the cards, although I may be keeping an eye on this pair+ just in case.

If you want to know about the two pairs I will more than likely review them later in the year. Upon first wearing they are both nicely cushioned and comfortable although even in the wide fittings they probably won’t be enough for anyone with very wide feet.

Marriage | When did my name become somehow attached to my identity?

Marriage | When did my name become somehow attached to my identity?

Photo by Lauren Dewar (Sung Blue Photography)

As a kid I loathed the fact that when presented with more than one Jessica in the room that I would always get stuck with the full name. Cooler girls with my name became Jess’s or Jessie’s and although I’m only gonna let Josh, my parents and grandparents get away with Jessie (it’s almost too personal). I began to associate Jessica with my younger self. The me who had zero confidence, or who would just willingly flatten herself into corners for everyone else.

In fact, it wasn’t until I got into university that I got bulshy with insisting I’m Jess, giving my best mortally offended face to anyone even thinking about uttering Jessica in my general direction. It was then that I began differentiating my first name to different occasions (formal occasions always Jessica, even when mostly I trip over my own tongue trying to say it).

However, when we decided that we wanted to be traditional post marriage I didn’t think twice about my surname.

I don’t view changing your name to not being a feminist because changing my name is not attached to being a woman but to screaming at the world, this man and I? We are a team! We are one!

I also couldn’t imagine our future kids having to suffer with a clunky double barrel or being confused by one is a Hawkins, one a Low. We took vows to be one another’s person and I could scream that from the rooftops everyday and night.

I didn’t blink, I scoffed at the bear idea of it staying, goodbye Low! It’s been a pleasure but when the time came to change it, I stalled.

We made trips in the name Hawkins and Low, two mini moons and I can only equate my stalling with my identity being wrapped up into three little letters. What happens to Jessica Low, when it’s Jessica Hawkins?

I’ve never scrawled it like a teenager over my notebooks however much I wanna hide Josh away from the world just so I can selfishly keep him for myself. I even planned my new signature so it looks basically the same. My world didn’t change at the alter either, my heart had already decided on Josh long before, this was the paperwork, technicality, but changing my name was the last hurdle I never saw coming.

I can only assume that this change was heightened because having grown up in a crazy close family who are almost on top of each other all the time in both space and similarities to now, living hours away from them all had created a divide in my identity somewhere as well.

Maybe in three parts, a scared kid, the one who grew up at university and lived with Josh almost straight from school and this new Jessica.

If I’m honest, I was afraid. My connection to my family has always been my biggest source of pride. I never needed famous idols when they were all real and lived a simple walk away. If I changed my name and cut that cord it was like severing something. Am I less a Low without the title? Will people no longer associate me with my family as much, with my mum? We share a smile but would that be enough for the world to notice I belong somewhere? For as much as I adore Joshes family to absolute bits and would chose them in a heartbeat there was still a worrying, nagging thought, am I no longer a Low?

All these years women have been losing their identities and I wonder now whether actually it is harder to take a partners name. Most men are against it and now women who previously didn’t have a choice are against it to. We view it like being claimed as someone’s property, but I was more afraid of not belonging to my birthright more than I was afraid of being tied to someone else. I’d made my choice, or my heart had, he has me but my family does as well. Who could understand me better than the people who made me… well, me?

From not understanding why you would keep your name I was posed with a problem, could I now get rid of mine? The real answer is yes I can. For me it was the insecurity of belonging pulling on my name heartstrings. After all, I consider myself a Philpott, a Jones, having plenty of traits from my grandparents than even they may realise but I’ve never carried these names, Low might actually be a state of mind. After all, I will always be logically minded, quiet in unfamiliar surroundings, able to talk to strangers about anything at the drop of a hat like my grandma … Changing my name ultimately doesn’t change me.

It’s just a name, just paper, so this past weekend I changed my name. Here’s to the next chapter, the next page, Jessica Low? Please meet Jess Hawkins. She’s the same chick I promise but here’s the thing, she has a husband now, her own team and she’s not so scared anymore.

Fashion Stories | The Missing Silk Scarves

September 2012 marked the month where a small, perfect pink bag appeared in my lap. Said bag was from Vivienne Westwood, I kid you not. My Mum and Dad had bought me something beautiful, unique and fabulous, one of Vivienne’s simple handkerchiefs’ in one of her iconic designs.

This handkerchief quite literally became my right hand handkerchief for a year.  Taking its position on my right crutch I travelled with this handkerchief (even with its sticker still on wherever I went). It learnt the quick limp through the dodgy areas in poplar, Deptford and homerton, London, it came to physio, heavens towards the end it came to a now defunct club in Maidstone, where it caught the eye of the lady hand stamping us to come in.

“I love your scarf!” of course you would, its Westwood.

All in all we had a fantastic run, a year together, but it should have been a lifetime.

 

Moving to Kent later in the year I packed my prized possession into a blue box. A box I haven’t been able to get rid of since, just in case the scarf is still hiding in the corner but as you now know the scarf went missing. Between Hertfordshire and Kent, a Kent flat to another it disappeared.

I thought honestly, my luck couldn’t get any worse, I lost one scarf, I couldn’t lose a second right? Well that just proves me a fool.

~~~

Fast forward to October 2016 and myself and Josh got married, we went to Berlin the day after. Stalked the streets, tagged onto tours and trawled the city of all of its museums. My outfit on repeat was a button up cord skirt, a black lightweight sweater from Zara and a neck scarf.

Vintage, pulled from Beyond Retro in Brick lane, Summer 2012, I’d never felt the need to wear it before. I had always failed to work out a way to wear it when it was slightly too short. In Berlin however, I realised I could wear it many ways. Tied around my neck like a cowgirl, around my wrist, the belt loops in my skirt, I swear it made it back on the plane…

Now I’m not so sure.

Much like the beloved Vivienne Westwood, it seems the silk scarf doesn’t want to stay friends with me for long. I’m becoming a prolific scarf loser. Worst still when they disappear they seem to do so silently, slipping away in the night like a temporary lover. Am I going to spend my life leaving my favourite scarves all over the globe?

I pray to anyone listening that the Vivienne and the vintage number have found their ways into nice loving homes, not chucked out as trash. Maybe Vivienne is now tied to some other girl’s crutch or handbag, the vintage, some stylish ladies neck, or maybe they have made entirely new lives….

In terms of me searching for them both, I haven’t stopped. I keep that blue box in the hopes that it might just offer my scarf back up four years later. I check bags randomly as I have a flash of genius, maybe I left it here…. The sadness is I never have, we moved house again and Vivienne never re surfaced, she was gone. Now I do the same on the vintage, waiting for its eventual return where I might slap myself on the forehead good naturedly, well of course! Here you are!

Fashion | Its still cool to wear a dress over trousers. Promise.

I distinctly remember being 14 and wanting to learn to make my own clothes. Puberty had made me keenly aware that I was not quite like the others. I wasn’t small, petite or willowy like my friends, instead I had already hit 5′ 10′ and my body had filled out so that I didn’t just look plain odd. Big feet, wide shoulders but still no hips (heavens sometimes I think I’m still waiting.) and I wanted to look as cool as my peers, but the stores were not so accommodating, not just in sizing or anything like that but in being more inventive.

In fact to go on a limb I feel as though its only been recently with places like Zara that we are finally seeing exciting, and alternative pieces on the Highstreet. Back when I was fourteen however, I wanted to make something actually outdated for the time. The skirt over trousers look.

I got this idea because I watched an awful lot of Mary Kate and Ashley films and shows, I realise 14 is a little old but once I like something I tend to do a lot of re watching so my fashion style tips were still coming from these out of date sources. In terms of making my own clothes, I never got very far. I hated all the textiles teachers (believe me you would have done too) and honestly I’m an idea’s girl and at the time I just didn’t have the patience.

What I’m trying to tell you all is this, although a certain form or style is outdated it doesn’t mean that you can’t keep wearing it. That’s its not in a sense, wearable. Its the most interesting part of fashion in how the same ideas and styles resurface but they can do so in such different ways. After all current fashion takes after the 90’s for example but it doesn’t feel the same, because its been tweaked and the overall look and form has changed.

Its why a dress over jeans or trousers can still work. It works because its not quite the same, the shapes have altered enough to offer us that and this is where this outfit came from. The simplicity of a dress over trousers.

What i like most about this is wearing a shirt dress open like this almost feels like a cool, long jacket and especially whilst its cold, its always good to find yourself a good amount of layers to wrap up in!

Building a closet for life | Holy Mackerel shoe collection

2 pairs of knee-high boots

7 pairs of ankle boots (3 leather, 4 suede)

1 pair of trainers

2 pairs of brogues

1 pair of loafers

2 pairs of heels

When I began this blog I had in the first year garnered quite a lot of inexpensive shoes that inevitably fell apart quite quickly (although I have an embarrassingly amount of them still stored up in boxes but that’s later in the post). So two to three years ago I started changing my ways with a pair of blue suede boots with purple elasticated sides. From Clarks in the sale it opened a doorway to taking better care of my feet by wearing leather shoes and boots.

Post-ankle break I have continual ankle and foot issues (because the restricted ankle gives me metatarsal pain on top) so after a second load of physio it quickly became apparent that sticking by cheap, badly fitting shoes just wasn’t going to cut it, and so began the slow creation of 15, yes, 15! Pairs of decent shoes.

If I’m honest the moment I thought about this post and started pulling them from my various stashes across the house I felt a little embarrassed. 15 pairs? That is an awful lot. Such a lot that it made me realize how important it is to go through those cheap shoe boxes and be honest with myself as to what anyone really needs in a shoe cupboard and then donate for those who can’t afford size nine shoes, period. After all, we all have to start somewhere.

Although a couple of pairs were c/o it took me a long time to build this shoe-drobe so really I guess I shouldn’t be too embarrassed after all I did so for a reason. To have a collection of shoes which work for all occasions and which can take me through several years (rather than a season).

When it began

After the first pair, I’ll admit I was a little addicted but only in the sale. The blue suede boots, the red and taupe heels, the pale brogues… in fact the only pair of shoes, which I bought full price? The orange desert boots.

I still tend to buy in the sales, laying in wait for the next deal to make them more affordable I pre game. The moment the new collection launches I do a reckie, which ones do I like and previously what do I need. Then I wait for deals, full on Sales, 15%, 40% you name it and then I go for it.

Do I need that many or realistically what do I or you need…

Need vs. want is a huge part of a capsule wardrobe or anyone’s life when they are trying to be conscientious of what we are consuming. At first I wasn’t so good at the needs vs. the wants in fact I went by what I loved the look of. Reality is heels are rarely needed but a great pair of boots for rain and snow, yes, they should be on my needs list. The problem is knowing actually what do you need and in the last three + years there has been a lot of learning going on.

Now, when I look at this collection I know that the last pair of boots (Black leather lace ups) should have been first on my list. I would never have known that however, if I hadn’t of had a cheap pair of sand boots like that last year. I would not have known that lace up boots? Totally my jam.

Most importantly weather is a big consideration. Rain? Snow or dry winters you have to know what you are preparing for. I have gone through a lot of winters with wet feet. Wet feet help no one but it took me an embarrassingly long time to finally just tough it up and buy leather boots, leather protection spray and just have dry feet.

The problem is always wants vs. needs. I love suede, just like my mum its way more comfortable, way cuter but it hates rain and it certainly doesn’t appreciate snow so really I needed to get myself leather boots.

Another interesting conundrum is what type of shoe I like to wear and where I need to wear them. Ultimately we spend, sadly, most of our lives at work so the main point I’m making here is they need to be smart, or at least smart-ish. Due to this I thought loafers, great, smart shoes the only issue is they take so long to wear in and my feet don’t like being hurt. In all honesty they are still a little bit of a bust but something big came to me this year, you have to wear in good shoes.

Cheap plastic shoes? They don’t take any time to wear in, in fact if they wear in its because they have fallen apart.

What I know is I love boots. Boots are my thing. In fact in posts they might even become my tell. This is Jess, she wears boots. The only thing is we like variety so having one pair it might never work, that’s not saying I’ve not over done it however, so here is my key (specific for me) as to the types of shoes I actually need in my wardrobe.

1 pair of knee high boots

1 pair of leather (waterproof boots)

1 pair of suede boots (hardship guys I want five (I only have four now)

1 pair of brogues

1 pair of trainers

1 pair of heels

Yup, that’s only six pairs of shoes overall. It seems a small amount but really its all we need. Shocking, isn’t it.

Now please make me feel better and tell me you also have a crazy amount of shoes!

Fashion | Are you wearing your neck tie? A how to and later . . . a how not?

Scarf? Vintage, Blazer: H&M (old), Knit Dress: Next, Heels: Clarks (old)

The small silk scarf is back! If you read Man Repeller you’ll already know that small silk scarves have been worn throughout last year but if like me, you perhaps weren’t brave enough to suffer flashbacks to 2009 by taking the silk scarf back you perhaps haven’t worn it yet.

The end of 2016 however? I felt brave enough to take the risk. Before Berlin I pulled out a vintage silk scarf that I bought from Brick Lane in London and went to Berlin town to try it out.

These photos however, were taken beside our old flat, at our old haunt of Maidstone because as much as the scarf is a moving forward to new trends its also a throw back to the way you may have tied a tasselled scarf in 2009-2012. Vintage meet, vintage.

(Stay tuned for Friday? I’m reusing the scarf in a whole new way!)

Its Wedding Week!

Photography by Lauren at Sung Blue Photography

Guess what? Its Wedding Week!

Yup, that means this one (above) is gonna be stuck with me for an awful long time! Its funny, prior to the wedding I thought I would post so much stuff about wedding planning, the joys, the horrors but in actual fact when you’re in it, you’re in it and writing about it? So not appealing.

What this week means for you guys? Well soon I’ll be a misses (but still therealjlow – albeit with a different name.) but it might mean that I actually have regular posting again (my older readers . . . remember the days?) In fact I already feel a weight has lifted a little – the planning is done!

If you want to know how I’m feeling right now? Equal parts uber excited (making sure Josh is stuck with me, seeing my entire family) and petrified of walking down an aisle with everyone staring at me. If you should know anything about me, I’m terrible with lots of attention, and excepting surprise gifts, so the whole shindig shull be a breeze I’m sure.

We are off on mini-moon number one straight after (Berlin) so the blog will be a little quiet for a while, but soon we will be back on track! A massive thank you also goes to my amazing Photographer, Lauren from Sung Blue Photography, if you need an amazing photographer in the UK then this is the girl! I’m still in awe . . .

Fashion | The Last of the Summer Shorts

Sleeveless jacket: New Look, White and grey linen dress: H&M, Patterned Shorts: Sainsburys TU, Shoes: Clarks

Honestly I am shocked by how long I have managed to wear shorts into what should be autumn. In fact in the UK autumn starts in September however this week we have had highs of 30 and I’ve worn shorts and T shirts, its that hot.

I’m actually beginning to wonder whether autumn will ever happen, maybe we will have that summer wedding after all . . . regardless I’m still hoping that these might be the last of the summer shorts, I’ve worn them religiously for the last few months so to be honest they are probably looking forward to a rest!

Beauty | Loving Right Now. Detox Mask

Nightwear +

Not so long ago I spoke about the new, high street charcoal mask range from L’Oreal. A great, affordable product I have continued to use and enjoy this mask but I have however had problems. The problems that Charcoal with its ability to draw out impurities means that acne is a given when it comes to using it irregularly, or even regularly.

Something I’ve found to combat that a little? Or at least amplify the healing process has been Estee Lauders 3 minute, NightWear plus detox mask. I don’t know what it is about this brand but my face loves its skincare. I’m more than sure that there will come a time when I can’t use these products so well but at the moment? I am in love.

A simple white chalk-esque mask, this goes on thinly, lasts a long time and feels as though it has drying qualities without over drying. Upon removal it leaves skin feeling soft and hydrated, which is what we all want right? Better still I have found that this works perfectly for acne prone skin and as a calming, after mask for the L’Oreal Charcoal mask. I realise that it is better not to overload skin but this has proven itself to be the perfect remedy to post-charcoal acne.

A skin saver if you will. It also works great for acne prone skin generally! Let me know below if you too have a favourite mask for these types of issues as I’d love to try some others to compare!

Fashion | Those mom-jeans though . . .

Sleeveless jacket: New Look sale Spring 2016, White eyelit shirt: Next summer 2015, The ‘Mom’ Jean or relaxed Skinny Jeans from Marks and Spencer* & Orange tied up sandals: ASOS

Styling mom jeans is one of those things which feels as if it should be a big, fashion-no and yet it is too addictive to over look the trend in favor of better tailoring.

If we are honest, ‘Mom jeans’ are never attractive. Mom jeans being the nineties boyfriend or more fittingly, girlfriend fit of the time.

The odd thing about them is we somehow all love them. I put off joining the trend for the longest time. I had never favoured them particularly, having always viewed these jeans as being an unflattering cut. Jeans from a time where we weren’t sure how to make jeans super flattering. Thats what mom jeans have always been for me. Most interestingly it seems that the rise of there popularity on the high street has been born more from our love of vintage then the catwalk. I remember as a late teen when shorts made from vintage Levi jeans became popular and now it seems that the introduction of the full on 80’s/90’s jean has taken a hold of our wardrobes, vintage or not.

So why did I buy some? Its a question I ask myself every time I wear them. On one side because I wanted comfortable, thick, good quality denim jeans which were a loose skinny fit and could be worn, hemmed up to bridge the gap between tailored and relaxed. I may even wear a bandanna with them also, just to complete the look and also because somewhere along the line I too wanted to try an alternative look I missed the first time around.

I believe that it is this which is the key to mom jeans success. We are not wearing them to be flattered, or to get compliments but instead to feel comfortable and be whimsical. They allow us to dress in a different and more expressive way and we get to call it fashion. A reason to wear whatever we want without any sneers or comments to dissuade us. Its my favourite type of dressing and if I had to say anything, that is why I bought a pair of mom jeans.

If wearing them makes you feel nervous I find that the key to making them wearable is to make everything else super flattering. I originally wanted to wear these with wedges which would also look great (height and rolled jeans seem to go hand in hand in making an outfit uber flattering) but in a relaxed summer setting flat sandals can work just as well.

I’m not sure on the longevity of this trend, I can see a lot of them now adorned with colourful, playful badges to keep the trend rolling however I can’t help but wonder what the next could be? How can we take our jeans to another level above relaxed or skinny fit, beyond boot cut and flares, how else can our jeans transform our wardrobes? For now I intend to pull these out on the weekend styles casually with flats and pretty summer tops, on casual fridays with wedges and tailoring and look forward to cooler, winter months filled with leather jackets, white T-shirts, colourful scarves and ankle boots.

*You can go so much more extreme than this pair. If anything this is gateway denim. The great thing about Marks and Spencer (sorry to international readers who don’t have access to this store) is that their jeans are made of great quality. There is no cutting costs, less reliance on lycra, they just make good jeans. Their jeggings for instance are so different from cheaper stores. They feel still like jeans just with the comfort of an elasticated waist band and lets be honest, thats the dream right?

Mark

Fashion | Sportswear for the weekend

Two outfit posts in a week I hear you cry! What happened to you Jess? This is all very unlike you . . . I hear you, I hear you, its been a while but there is something so classic about the outfit post that sometimes you just have to share more than one in a week.

Sportswear, has to be my favourite thing in the whole world. When it came into fashion focus I literally jumped for joy! The bomber (this one is from Next but check out Zara for some truly beautiful pieces!), paired with comfy drawstring pants(trousers) or the classic legging and you’ll find me in my dream world. A world of elastic and jersey.

We have literally this weekend booked to go to Berlin in October so I’m now very much looking for a pair of drawstring, sporty trousers to double up as being uber cool whilst relaxed, perfect for our two days flying either side of the trip! I’m keen on these from Next (I also love these in ochre) and these from Topshop which do we think is best? Leave your comments below and if you’ve been before give me your top recommendations for Berlin!

p.s. That second look guys, that face! How have I only just seen the beginning of hysterical laughter face before? lets be honest, I ❤ it. Keep an eye out for more hilarious expressions to come!

Abandoned Fashion(s)

Abandoned fashion

Sometimes it catches me. A girl wearing black, boot cut hip huggers*, or black ballet pumps with a wrap sweater that there are all these staples pieces which I have abandoned to probably never wear again.

The other day it suddenly occurred to me after lusting over a knee length denim button up skirt that once upon a time as a teenager I thought a denim mini skirt would always be in fashion. Now, no one wears them not even teenage girls trying to impress spot covered boys on the hill in my hometown.

Now we all invest in normcore. Ripped skinnies we think will never date, leather jackets which actually may one day be relegated to the back of the closet where you* hide military inspired jackets and shirts reminiscent of Jack Sparrow in “Pirates of the Caribbean.”

We make promises to our hoarder selves “These will come back around. We had a good time once, no point to chucking them when I can look effortlessly cool in my own vintage!”

More likely you will never wear these things again. Your daughter, son might but to you they will never again quite hold that same fresh vibe. Trends will resurface, polished and altered to fit new body shapes and ideals of beauty. You’ll buy others casts offs for that vintage cool you can’t get anywhere else. You might buy my hip hugging black flared trousers to pair with some futuristic heel and a bandanna and I’ll be purchasing your cast off skirts and leather normcore I missed the first time.

After all, the problem we have, as millennials, is we’ve been spoilt with fast fashion. If it’s not new to us it’s tarnished, old, forgotten like denim mini skirts. Reserved only for the memories of a similar, embarrassing time when you would flirt outrageously and think somehow you looked just as cool as you think you are now.

Abandoned Fashion it seems is all around. (A little like love…actually) because of this I have been thinking a lot about slow fashion. I was recently privileged enough to meet Pioneer, Safia Minney for work and honestly I have been fan girling ever since. I’ll speak more about this at another time but I have been thinking a lot about my relationship to fashion and in this case, abandoned fashion. The pieces you once loved above all else and now … not so much, how our choices change and how that affects the way we consume fashion. How our social attitudes affect our purchasing decisions and ultimately how we let the retail industry dictate to us how to consume fashion.

I’m getting real deep here when all I wanted to say is this. I for sure, still have leather military pieces, I never bought a denim mini skirt and I’m lacking a suitable amount of normcore, so do you think you guys could save yours for me? I’ll probably be looking for it several years from now . . .

#AbandonedFashion

*Because I wrote this on my ipad, this originally said, hip nuggets. I was loathed to correct it, so now you know!

*I hid them, I did! I just can’t say no to a leather military jacket